A gun brings fear. Kindness brings respect.
A gun will never bring respect nor will kindness ever bring fear.
At first glance, those words seen to ring true, but if a person must use a gun to stop someone else from harming you, I can see where he would earn respect for doing so. In fact the one who was being helped would consider this act one of kindness even though a gun was used.
If one is kind to the point that he or she fails to warn someone of impending danger or someone who cannot be trusted, it is a foolish kindness which when found out garners anger and fear. It garners this because the person's desire to be kind is foremost in his or her mind to the point that the fear of being unkind places the other person in an undesirable position and also because the kindness is without responsibility toward others and therefore his or her words cannot be trusted.
What does all of this mean? Perhaps the greatest relationships are those that have a little of both.
Sometimes the greatest kindness is telling your child "No." It may be canceling a large purchase when you realize that this act might put your family in severe financial difficulties. It could be grabbing you child when he or she wants to run out into the street, then telling him what might have happened. Maybe it might be taking someone to a play or concert, even though he's never been to one, hoping that it will enrich his life and make him curious to see more.
The Greeks said, "Everything in moderation." I think they meant everything in balance. So it is with Fear and Respect.