To me, there are four types of gifts. One is to honor someone you love. Another is to honor a cause in which you believe. Still another is to give to the needy. Finally, there is the gift that is given unwillingly due to an obligation.
Unfortunately, sometimes people give gifts that they think will be the best rather than do a little research and find what the person really needs or wants. Then the giver gives the gift on the basis on what he or she desires rather than what might be best for the recipient.
It is like saying, “ It is my money and I will give what I want,” rather than saying “ I’ll look into my friends desires and needs. Then I’ll get him or her the gift that she will really enjoy.
The gift of charity is somewhat like that. Maimonides wrote of eight levels of giving. The lowest was the gift that one gave grudgingly. This is because there is no desire to give the gift and that the gift is all about the giver and little about the recipient.
However, the highest gift is the gift that is given in such a way that it is given willingly and anonymously. It is such that it is meant to help the recipient become independent of needing more charity. This will give him not only the material gift but will give self esteem, and will help make the recipient a productive member of society. This is the gift that is all about the recipient and not about the giver.
I have a friend who cares little about what the gift is but cares greatly about the effort and thought that went into the choice. This is because the first may be due to obligation but the second almost always honors the recipient and reflects the givers affection and love towards the one who will receive the gift.
The Attitude of the Gift - Mike's Photo and Thoughts Website
