When I was a twenty something young man, I went to my parents and asked them what their philosophy was when they raised us. I saw them, especially my father, stand aside and seem to give us very little direction. Others had their parents at their side all the time guiding and helping them through every day and problem. Often the contrast was not only very noticeable but beyond my understanding. So, when I heard my father's answer, I was surprised. At the time I did not fully appreciate his enormous wisdom.
He told me that his philosophy was to raise us with watchful neglect. What did that mean? My parents, especially my father would encourage us to make our own decisions, see if they were wise and if not, and if need be, get ourselves out of trouble. He would be in the background to help us if the circumstances were warranted.
When we needed money for entertainment in high school and later went to college, it was up to us to earn the money we needed. So, what did all of this accomplish? Our family is self reliant, knows the value of money, and has worked for what we have. Is that so bad?
There is no question that there is good in many of the government assistance programs. Certainly, if one has unfortunate things happen to him or his family, it is the charitable and good thing to do to help this person either by teaching how to earn income with a new trade and or subsidizing this man or woman until they have overcome their adversity. Then they can be a citizen who is proud of their accomplishments.
However, this is not always the case. There are people who get assistance for years on end. Many have illnesses, injuries or other problems that will never allow them to completely be self sufficient. Sadly, others rely on the system as an end to itself rather than a path of help. Sometimes this goes from parent to sibling and occasionally even to grandchild. The family has no reason or desire to be self reliant. They build and accomplish little or nothing and have little to be proud of. They get stuck in a mold that has no end.
I feel that we have an obligation to make sure that our welfare system does not encourage this problem. In other words we should teach a man to fish as we give him the fish.
When we give someone welfare, we take away a bit of their self esteem and pride. The way that we should allow this to come back is to help them become a productive citizen of their community.
Let us hope that one day, giving back self esteem will be as important as giving money.
Self Reliance - Mike's Photo and Thoughts Website
